Hello friends! Welcome to our discussion of Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail by Ashley Herring Blake. This discussion is part of our 2023 Holiday Book Exchange. Michaela chose this book for the Holiday Book Exchange because it was one of her favorite reads of 2023, so she gifted it to Jacilyn to read.
Trigger Warning!!! This book contains situations and subjects related to: sexual content, divorce, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and death of parents.
Spoiler Warning!!! This post is full of spoilers for Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail by Ashley Herring Blake.
Discussion:
Michaela: Hello friends and welcome to our discussion of Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail by Ashley Herring Blake. This was my choice for Shelf Explored’s holiday book exchange this year. We read the first book in this series, Delilah Green Doesn’t Care, in January of this year and we absolutely loved it. I read this book a few months after we finished DGDC. I fell in love with this book but in a whole new way from DGDC. In this book Astrid goes on her own journey of love and acceptance, but this time it is Astrid learning that she is actually bisexual. Blake really captures the feelings that comes with figuring out your sexuality in adulthood. You think you’re just a getting a cute romance book, but nope, once again just like with DGDC there’s so much more substance to it.
Jacilyn: I loved this one just as much as DGDC. When we read that book, I think we were both surprised by the depth of emotion in the story. The characters feel so much more real because of the things they are working through, the mistakes they make. I really enjoy series like this, where each book has a different protagonist but it’s all a continuation of the same story, the same group of people.
Astrid’s journey of discovering her sexuality resonated with me so hard. There was one section in particular, where Astrid tells Jordan that she’s not the first woman she’s been attracted to, but that she didn’t understand before. Astrid says “I didn’t let myself understand.” which rings entirely true to my experience with my own sexuality. Now that I’ve come to terms with my bisexuality, I look back and recognize so many moments that should have made me realize. Perhaps I did always realize, but buried it so deep within myself that I was able to pretend it wasn’t true. I have always been a staunch supporter of LGBTQIA+ folks in my time, and yet somehow the homophobia that exists in our culture managed to worm its way deep inside of me and become internalized. Honestly, I’ll forever regret not embracing my sexuality earlier in my life, so while reading about Astrid’s experience with this I felt a sense of relief for her, that she was figuring this out before it was too late.
My prediction for the ending of the book was that Jordan would take over Bright Designs and Astrid would open a bakery, but I should have known that Isabel wasn’t going to necessarily let that happen. I don’t know why I didn’t expect Astrid to end up working at the Everwood Inn! I loved that she ended up loving that place just as much as Jordan and Pru and Simon do.
I was a bit frustrated that Astrid and Jordan didn’t just have a conversation with Natasha and Emery when they started collaborating on the design. Jordan took the lead, sure, but Astrid was still integral to its success and I think that they could have just asked Natasha and Emery - “Do you still want us to continue to lean into this “animosity” and pretend we’re at odds, or can the hook of the episode be the eventual collaboration between two seemingly opposing forces?” I understand that it happened the way it did because of Astrid and Jordan’s insecurities, though. Astrid was terrified of being seen as a failure in both her mother and Natasha’s eyes, and Jordan was so used to being considered a fuck up in everything she did. When it comes down to it, both women were too scared of not being good enough, and that held them back both professionally and in their personal relationship.
Michaela: I resonated with the same things Jac did concerning Astrid and realizing things about her past. Once you get to that point, so much of your life comes flooding back and has this new sense of clarity to it. Jordan wasn’t Astrid’s first instance of gay attraction, it was just the one that mattered the most and pushed Astrid to realize what her feelings really were.
I liked that this book didn’t have that romance book miscommunication trope, but I feel like Jordan and Astrid not communicating with Natasha and Emery is so close to being that kind of thing. I think Natasha would have jumped on this new animosity turned partnership turned relationship. And I know that’s how books work but here I am still frustrated with characters being book characters! But I do still understand why they felt like they couldn’t communicate what was happening. Not only did Astrid not want to disappoint her mother and Jordan didn’t want to be a screw up, the Everwood Inn’s life was in danger and Astrid’s entire business was on the line because of her decline in business. It was a huge risk on a personal and professional level.
I thought this story had an interesting combination of personal and business risks around the relationship forming. It reminded me a little of Something to Talk About by Meryl Wilsner, which we read in 2021 here at Shelf Explored. In both cases there was a professional risk of getting feelings for someone. I felt so bad for both Astrid and Jordan, I felt like they both felt incredibly helpless and confused at every turn with even the simple choices they were making because they were both so worried about disappointing someone in their lives.
Jacilyn: This is a good time to talk about the people in their lives that reinforced that fear. I had major problems with Isabel (and I have since DGDC) and Meredith, and even with Simon to a lesser extent. Astrid has never been able to be herself. She has only ever been who her mother wanted her to be, and it really wasn’t until Jordan showed up in her life that that started to change. Watching Astrid blossom was such a beautiful thing. It’s hard for me to have any grace towards Isabel at all, but I would guess that she was probably raised in the same way she has raised Astrid. Isabel has gone through her own pain from losing two husbands in a short span of time, and perhaps she thought that “molding” Astrid was the best way to keep her happy. Her being willing to finally listen for once and let Astrid take her time to rekindle their relationship does show that she does care for her daughter. I just have a hard time with the knowledge that Isabel has been ignoring her daughter’s needs for her entire life. How can someone possibly show love with that much judgment? It’s hard for me to reconcile.
Then there’s Meredith. This woman was WAY out of line. She was stringing Jordan along after breaking her heart, and refused to accept Jordan’s boundaries or wishes. It’s like she always intended to keep Jordan on the back burner for whenever she felt the desire to give her attention. How fucked up is that? And to show up in Oregon, after Jordan made herself VERY clear by ignoring the texts and phone calls. Meredith still thinks she knows better than Jordan, that Jordan isn’t capable of making her own decisions and doing what’s best for HER. It’s patronizing and disgusting, honestly. She gave me the biggest ick, even more so when she fucking emailed Natasha about the designs. The behavior was all just so out of line and abusive.
Simon mirrored a bit of Meredith’s behavior, to be honest. The difference is that he was coming from a place of true concern and love for his twin. He worried about Jordan, and when he realized the way he had been treating her, he owned up to it and apologized. Meredith did not do that. I also felt like he was willing to sell out a bit at the beginning when it came to the Inn. Once again, I know this came out of concern for Pru and the Inn’s future, but it was the wrong choice.
I loved how the core friend group grew in this book. I think Simon will continue to make an appearance, especially because it seems like him and Iris are developing a strong friendship. And of course we have Delilah and Jordan that have joined the “coven.” We all know I love a good found family feeling, and this series gives those in droves. I think one of my favorite parts of this book was seeing the ways that Delilah and Astrid’s relationship is improving. When Astrid went to her step-sister for her bisexual panic?? Oh, it just made my heart feel so full.
Michaela: I have wondered if Isabel treated Astrid this way because of the losses she faced. If she did it because she felt that lack of control, so she wanted to not necessarily control Astrid as much as control everything Astrid went through. A lot of helicopter parenting is based in that sense of fear that their child won’t have the best life possible for them. However, even if that is the case that in no way excuses Isabel’s behavior or choices. I mean Isabel literally sent Astrid a news article about her ex-fiance, Spencer, being married and with a baby on the way. Why in the world would you do that to someone??? She actively ignored Astrid’s personality and needs, and that can’t ever be forgiven but it can be accepted and worked past.
Fully agree with Jac on the Meredith front. Me and Meredith have BEEF, it's on sight with that woman. She overstepped on literally every single thing. She did not communicate with Jordan before deciding to change both of their lives forever. You’re allowed to make those life altering decisions but when they involve others they deserve to be communicated with. She then expected Jordan to always be there and be her friend after leaving her. Not only did Meredith just decide to leave, but did so after a traumatic fight against cancer. Meredith may have been the one who was sick, but everyone in her life also felt grief and Jordan specifically cared for her and supported her during that sickness. What horrible disrespect for someone you’ve been with for the majority of your life. Then Meredith has the AUDACITY to keep bothering Jordan, keep crossing boundaries, expecting friendship, and THEN JUST SHOWS UP. That’s bordering stalker behavior, it is definitely narcissistic behavior if anything. And I do not believe for one moment Meredith didn’t expect the show to end. She sent Natasha that email hoping everything would blow up, so that Meredith could swoop in to comfort Jordan and be the hero. Oh my gods! Honestly, Meredith might be one of my least favorite characters from the books we’ve read this year.
I absolutely loved the relationship growing between Astrid and Delilah. It felt so nice to see them joke around and for Delilah to help Astrid. I also loved that Astrid, out of all her friends, looked to Delilah for the hard truths. That is something I really value in myself and those I choose to have around me. While Astrid’s friends all mean well, you can’t always just comfort and play things down, some situations require real answers especially when asked for. And Delilah is that person for Astrid, she is also the only one who can understand what Astrid went through growing up with Isabel and the expectations put on her.
I really loved this book and the first book in this series. I can’t wait to keep reading to get more updates on Delilah and Claire (who just moved in together), Astrid and Jordan, and the sister bond between Delilah and Astrid. The next book in the series is about Iris, who really deserves to find someone who first of all is not using her as a mistress without her knowledge (it is also on sight with Jillian, how DARE she) and someone who isn’t hoping she’ll eventually change or push herself into a role she never wanted like her ex boyfriend.
Jacilyn: Well friends, that’s the end of our discussion of Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail, and our final book discussion of the year! As always, thank you for being here with us, and we can’t wait to see what the next year holds for us. Until then!
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