This week we are discussing Big Fat Manifesto by Susan Vaught Chapter 14 - End.
Spoiler Warning!!! This post is full of spoilers for Big Fat Manifesto by Susan Vaught.
Trigger/Content Warning!!! Fatphobia, Disordered Eating, Surgery, Panic Attacks, Mental Health, "Dumping", Weight loss related trauma
Discussion:
Jacilyn: Hello friends. Welcome to our final discussion of My Big Fat Manifesto. At the end of the last section, we saw the awful news story about Jamie that has grown into a way bigger deal than I expected it too. There was national press everywhere, and of course Jamie fights back in true Fat Girl fashion with a column that her principle clearly wasn’t super keen on. And then to have to write a column celebrating Burke’s weight loss? I can understand why Jamie was so bitchy with everyone, although it was 100% still shitty of her.
Michaela: Jamie is going through so much in this book. I’m amazed she is as okay as she is really. I would have been falling apart with all that attention while going through so many personal things. The press reaction to her column is honestly laughable. Like they’ve never seen anything written about fat people before or from a fat person's perspective? It must have been a couple slow news months. The only shows I can think of that would report on something like this would be talk shows. All they’re doing is making a teenagers life harder and making fun of a very high percentage of the population of people in the country. I remember watching those types of news coverages as a teenager and a child, and thinking back I can now see how traumatizing and fatphobic it was to see that literally everywhere. Especially the imagery they use, I have seen the “bouncing bellies and butts” so many freaking times over the years. It's just old.
Jacilyn: Oh I’ve definitely seen that imagery used also. We see coverage of the “obesity epidemic” constantly. Michelle Obama’s entire thing whole first lady was combating childhood obesity. No wonder so many of us have debilitating body issues. We’ve spent our entire lives being told that our existence was wrong, was dangerous, was worthless, that we deserve to be cruelly criticized about our appearance, our health, our lifestyles.
So imagine all that pressure and stigma on you, but on a national scale, and then on top of that…. You sneak your boyfriend a candy bar after being harassed for weeks, and all of a sudden he’s violently ill. I think I would have just curled into a ball and tried to stop existing. What a traumatizing thing to experience for everyone involved, and the fact that Mr. Westin was just like…. “It was only a matter of time” makes me so sad. The Westins sacrificed and prepared themselves for the awful reality of Burke’s surgery and recovery, because they just wanted him to be happy and healthy, and that felt like the only way.
Michaela: This country is so anit-fat that it makes it mentally dangerous to just exist most of the time. People aren’t respected or cared for, even by those who their entire job is meant to do that. Even Jamie’s doctor didn’t actually care about Jamie’s wellbeing, just what her weight was as if that would be a magical cure for everything. And he was genuinely surprised that all her levels and stats came back as healthy. It is so beyond possible that people who are overweight can be healthy. Also, the BMI index which most of this is based on was modeled after white men only. So everyone is compared to a very small and specific group of individuals that women and people of color have little in common with when it comes to body type. It's absolutely ridiculous and an ancient, sexist, and racist form of healthcare.
I was so glad that none of the Westins blamed Jamie. I was preparing myself for it. But they all handled it amazingly. That was such a traumatizing event. I can’t imagine. I would also just curl up and want to stop existing. Like oh my god. If I didn’t already not want that surgery and find it to be dangerous, this would convince me to never get it. However, Mr. Westin expressing “It was only a matter of time” did kind of bother me. I assume he said it because he was aware of his son’s relation with food. But if you know that then why would you not also get him mental healthcare as well. I think if you get this surgery, especially as a teenager, you should have to attend at least one therapy session to make sure you understand your relationship with yourself and food first because that determines so much in your recovery.
Jacilyn: Honestly, with America’s healthcare, it’s likely that they couldn’t afford therapy, especially after paying for the surgery. I do think that everyone that has this surgery should be provided with therapy from someone with specific understanding of this process. And that goes for a lot of other surgeries and medical procedures as well.
The doctor scene really resonated with me. My blood pressure is always high at doctor appointments, because I’ve had awful experiences my entire life due to my weight. I recently found a doctor who respects me as a whole person, and doesn’t focus everything around my weight and I am so grateful for that. I know that not everyone is that lucky.
I hate that Jamie kissed Heath before she officially broke up with Burke, but I’m also glad that he was there to be comforting and give her honest answers during a horribly traumatic time. I appreciated how honest he was when she asked if she was a bitch. And that they had a discussion about the fact that Heath would likely be subject to some of the same vitriol that Jamie gets for dating her, and he was honest about not knowing how he would manage it in the long term. That is amazing communication, right off the bat.
Michaela: That’s very possible. I feel like it should be included in the pre and post surgery care of the surgery. That doctor scene really got to me. So many flashbacks. I have had a number of encounters with doctors who try to blame my weight for any random pain, chronic pain, mental issues, etc. Surprise surprise...it's never been what the problem has been.
I really hate that Jamie did that before breaking up with Burke but I’m also glad she got the comfort she needed. Burke had been so distant and selfish that she really needed someone to be there to listen to her. Even after her doctor’s appointment Burke wouldn’t listen and just said “ya I remember what it’s like but I won’t have to worry about that anymore”. Like great for you but Jamie still does and you should care about her.
My thing with Jamie and being a bitch….in my opinion everyone has a tendency to be a bitch or a jerk or a douchebag or whatever you want to call it. When you’re dealing with so much at one time like Jamie is, it's impractical to think she or anyone would walk around being calm and collected and complacent all the time. I’m not excusing the behavior but I also don’t think it's fair of everyone to keep calling her a bitch during this time when so many of them aren’t being very helpful either. An emotional time is going to result in some emotional outbursts. That’s how humans work most of the time. Her being a bitch the rest of the time, according to everyone else, I think is based on self-esteem issues. I think it's her coping mechanism, again it's not healthy but it can be common.
But going back to Heath. Just the way Jamie felt with him and touching him was beautiful to me. The way that feeling was written felt so realistic and familiar. As disappointed as I am that she didn’t break up with Burke first, I was relieved that she finally felt that way with someone. I wonder if she ever felt that with Burke? We didn’t get to see the beginning of their relationship, just the ending. But it kind of seemed like this was the first time she’s felt these particular emotions.
Speaking of emotional outbursts. Burke’s reaction to Jamie breaking up with him and why….incredibly inappropriate and abusive. It was not okay. For him to feel sad, mad, disappointed, etc. is completely understandable but him punching the wall and only blaming her for their problems. Not okay, not even a little bit. I was very disappointed in him and it made me question everything I thought I knew about his personality.
Jacilyn: I agree about everyone having those moments of outbursts. I think it’s okay that her friends were hurt by them, and I think it’s okay that she had those moments. It’s one of those things where empathy from all directions is important.
I think Jamie probably felt that way with Burke at the beginning, but I think part of it was that they were both fat, and that let Jamie let down some of her walls. With Heath, he sees her for who she is, even though he doesn’t share that experience. He accepts her and sees her. After Jamie was kicked from the scholarship running, Heath helped her decide how she was going to move forward and be true to herself.
I totally agree that Burke was out of line. I was ready for his family to go after Jamie when she left, but they were all understanding and supportive, even though they’re disappointed. Reacting in that kind of way is abusive, full stop.
I love that Jamie decided to appeal the scholarship committee’s decision. The way the community and school rose up to support her was so heartwarming. Especially Burke’s family. They had a whole ass perfectly tailored suit made for Jamie for the event, and the school even chipped in to get Jamie and her dad two seats each so they could be comfortable on the plane. It was such a heartwarming end to the book.
Michaela: I was wondering how much of them deciding to date was based on them both being fat. Having things in common is why people tend to date obviously but I wonder how much of it was based in the “no one else will want to date me” mentality that we know Jamie had. They definitely loved each other and had fun being together though, no denying that.
The way Heath sees her is so nice and sweet and honest. I just love it. He is so supportive of her journey and he understands the journalism side of things which is so important to Jamie. The overwhelming support for Jamie in her appeal warmed my tiny heart so much. It was a beautiful moment at the end of this book where not only were her friends and family there to support her, but so was Heath, she had her hometown backing her, and Burke’s mother got her a custom tailored suit. *Cue the happy tears* It was so much all at once and I just loved the ending. We got to see that Jamie was discovering who she wanted to be, someone who stands up for herself as herself and not as a personality like she had been.
Jacilyn: It was the ending Jamie deserved. Thank you for joining us on this journey, readers! This has been such an impactful book for the both of us, and we hope that it can start some conversations for our readers too.
Let us know what you thought of the ending of this book! What did you think of Jamie and Heath? What about the break up? How about that ending? Let us know in the comments below!
Commentaires