This week we will be discussion Diana: Her True Story In Her Own Words by Andrew Morton, Chapter 9-11.
Trigger Warning!!! This book contains disordered eating, spousal abuse, emotional abuse, divorce, attempted suicide, death, and self harm.
Discussion:
Jacilyn: Hello fellow readers, welcome to discussion #4 of Diana: Her True Story in Her Own Words. This section got a little bit difficult to follow, as far as the timeline goes. It seems like this section was an addendum to the original book, written after Diana’s death. In my opinion, the writing is noticeably less clear, particularly in regards to discussion of Diana and Charles’ separation.
Morton refers to the period prior to the divorce as both a “formal” and “informal” separation, one that was discussed with the Queen and announced to the public as well. I found it interesting, and awful, that the separation would be public, but Charles and Diana were still forced to put on a charade of a loving, unified front. The media began to be used by both “sides” to further a narrative that portrayed Charles or Diana in a particular light. The “Squidgygate” tapes were leaked, courtiers gave quotes to the media portraying Diana as an irrational, smothering mother. Judging from Morton’s relay of events, it seems like Diana was trying to stand up against a tidal wave of negative press from those in Charles’ court.
Michaela: The writing in this addendum section seems in some ways to be almost rushed or like too much information is being summarized and then smooshed together. I have enjoyed reading this book to learn more about Princess Diana but I have to say that Morton’s writing is not the most cohesive and he constantly jumps back and forth on how he feels about or wants to portray certain events of Diana’s life.
The time period of the “informal” separation sounds just absolutely horrid. On one hand Diana finally got a little bit of freedom from that marriage and yet she was still trapped in the royal world. Even after the divorce she was still trapped in that world. The whole public charade was just laughable and idiotic to me. Everyone in the world could read the papers and see the beginnings of the “War of the Waleses”. The royal institution making them go around and parade themselves as if everything was fine is one of the worst decisions they could have made. In trying to deconstruct the image of Diana that had developed over years in many ways came back around and backfired on the royal institution. The public opinion of Diana may have gone down some but the general world opinion of the monarchy suffered most in Diana’s time and not because of Diana but because of how they treated her. Diana was doing and was on her way to do more amazing things to further the “importance” of the monarchy continuing to exist, then they tried to shove her away as much as they could.
Jacilyn: The international tours that Charles and Diana were forced to attempt together went horribly, and just served to provide more evidence to the media of their failed marriage - Diana was done trying to act like everything was peachy, and made it clear she didn’t want to be around Charles. And then when Diana tried to do her job independently of Charles, she was constantly being blocked by “the men in gray suits” - the institution of the monarchy.
And then, of course, there’s the introduction of Tiggy into the mix. The media absolutely contributed to Diana’s feelings of resentment toward Tiggy, but I think it was going to happen no matter what. It would be really difficult to see another woman behaving in a motherly role to your kids when you’re not around, and some people can handle that better than others. Andrew Morton conveniently glosses over the fact that Diana said something truly horrid to Tiggy at a party, expressing her condolences about “the baby”..... Referring to rumors that Diana herself started about Tiggy receiving an abortion after becoming pregnant by Charles. Now, this wasn’t discussed in the book, but we learned of this from You’re Wrong About, the host of which did quite a bit of research into Diana’s story. This is one of those instances where we’re reminded that Diana was just a human, and humans do bad things sometimes.
One positive, rather mature, move on Diana’s part during this time was her decision to confront her maternal grandmother, Lady Fermoy, and Diana’s former step-mother, Raine. I’m sure that finding some closure with both women lifted some weight off of Diana’s shoulders, but it’s unsurprising that she announced a withdrawal from her “public life” in 1993. I love the quote she gave not long after this announcement, while speaking to an actor at a party who said he was taking a year off of acting. “So have I,” Diana said.
Michaela: So much of what Diana consumed at the time was basically through a long game of telephone either through the press or through private secretaries and other staff. Tiggy being one of the things she learned through the press. Diana and Charles, and quite frankly the whole bunch of the royals, were behaving very childishly with all of this. Not a single person seemed to consider not using their friends, the press, or illegally obtained recordings to get back at the other. It honestly reminds me of a daytime soap opera.
Diana and Charles tried to emphasize that what they cared about most in this situation was their two boys...but none of their actions show this. At least not to me. They very publicly went at each other. No matter if the boys were away at school at the time, it’s not as if they were in another dimension, those boys had to have seen what was going on. If not in the press than through friends, teachers, or just by being near their parents during fights. The employment of Tiggy feels like it could have been Charles taking a jab at Diana, considering she of a similar background to Diana and was not an actual governess, it seems very targeted. But then this brings up again how Charles did not want to be seen in public to be too fatherly and instead just hired someone to be motherly to his kids while they were away from Diana and with him. Both sides during this whole “informal”/”formal” separation are to blame in furthering the problems between themselves and doing things specifically to get back at the other. It’s very childish, and from these two people I’m not surprised. Throughout this whole book we’ve learned of the many ways that both parties, while very intelligent and regal in some cases, can turn around and be incredibly immature in others.
But I agree that something very mature and, to me, impressive was her willingness and ability to build bridges with Lady Fermoy and Raine. Two women who had caused enormous amounts of pain to Diana but she was mature enough to see that she would need to take the steps forward. It really feels like those last few years of Diana’s life she got a jumpstart into the world she wanted to create for herself and she was going to construct a new one by reconstructing parts of the old world she had spent over a decade in.
Jacilyn: Speaking of things that Diana learned through the press…. The “Camillagate” transcripts must have been so difficult for her. I disagree with Morton’s impression of these transcripts as “distasteful.” Frankly, the conversation is charming and loving, and none of what was said should reflect in any way on Charles’ ability to rule in the future. That being said, Diana had to learn about all of the “friends” who helped to facilitate Charles’ affair, in a very public manner.
Adding to the media soap opera was the documentary on Charles released in 1994. Here, Charles admits to having an affair with Camilla, which I think was a good move on his part *but* this really should have been something he admitted to Diana’s face. She deserved that. I’ve said many times that Charles and Camilla clearly loved each other, which is true, but that doesn’t negate the fact that he did something awful to Diana for their entire marriage, and he had the audacity to gaslight her when she tried to call him out! I’d like to believe that Diana chose the “revenge dress” on purpose. She deserved the positive attention, in spite of the soap-opera-ness of it all.
This separation period seemed to provide Diana with a little more freedom, but she was still in that gilded cage. Morton goes into extensive detail about Diana’s redecoration of her apartment in Kensington Palace, but my favorite detail was her choice of quirky throw pillows, particularly the one that said “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.” It’s perfect.
Michaela: I think the reaction to the “Camillagate” recording was incredibly dramatic but I suppose we should take into account the time period and the country in which it was important. Not that the English are prudish or anything but Charles is a very important figure of that country, if a president in the U.S. had a similar incident there would also be a rather dramatic reaction to it. We may not think it was a horrible thing but many others would and did think otherwise. Of all the things Diana talked about and even allegedly the Queen talked about about why Charles isn’t ready to rule as King, “Camillagate” is not one of them.
I fully agree. Charles not telling Diana to her face was cowardly and immature. She deserved better than that especially after being gas-lit for over a decade. Then at the same time finding out that many of the people she considered her friends were betraying her trust the entire time. I can’t imagine what that felt like. I can only assume she did choose the “revenge dress” on purpose and I fully support that decision. She looks absolutely gorgeous and she deserved some good attention.
Then her new found freedom with her home was so fun to read about and it truly warms my heart. She could finally express herself in her own home. With silly embroidered pillows even, a girl after my own heart. In all, it seemed like Diana got through the divorce with quite a few good things going for her or that she got to keep. Most importantly her children were not taken away from her. Beyond that she got to remain in her home, though she did want to have a place that was fully her own, but at least she was able to redecorate and rid all the Charles-iness out of it. She also got to remain working with charities in her royal role. While Diana’s most important things were her children and money to support herself, the main issue for the royal institution was her title “Her Royal Highness”. I realize that we aren’t from this country and their culture involving royalty is foreign to me in many ways, but as an outsider it seems to Diana that was incredibly unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Something I found enduring about this title situation was Prince William’s reaction to it. We’ve seen in many instances how protective Prince William was of his mother when it came to his father, the press, and now the whole institution and also how mature he was. Prince William promised Diana that when he became King he would reinstate her title and I wouldn’t be surprised that someday when Prince William is crowned as King he still does so in honor of her memory.
Jacilyn: I love how protective William is of Diana, even as a child. Even the public seemed disdainful of the decision to strip Diana of her title. Although she wasn’t particularly attached to the title, she did recognize that it allowed her the authority to help her favorite charities in the ways that were important to her, so it must have been difficult to lose nonetheless. I thought it was clever of Diana to prompt Charles to push for the divorce, but the top-secret Panorama interview seemed like a last, desperate effort to prompt the process to begin. I know that recently, William and Harry have commented on how the Panorama interview may have been a ploy from the media to take advantage of their mother who was clearly struggling, but I can’t say that I hold any firm opinion on that myself with the information I know. I think it’s an interesting point to consider.
Either way, the interview did spur the Queen to suggest that divorce proceedings begin. In 1996, terms were agreed upon, and Diana traveled to see the boys at school to deliver the news herself, in-person, like the boys deserved. I have an incredible amount of respect for Diana for not mentioning Camilla to the boys. That would be a difficult conversation to have with young kids, and it takes a lot of maturity to put their feelings first. Finally, Diana is as free of the chains of the monarchy as she ever will be.
Next week, we’ll discuss the aftermath of the divorce and Diana’s tragic death. Until then, happy reading!
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