This week we are discussing When You Ask Me Where I'm Going by Jasmin Kaur, chapters 'Nerve', 'Heart', 'Light'.
Spoiler Warning!!! This post is full of spoilers for When You Ask Me Where I'm Going by Jasmin Kaur.
Trigger/Content Warning!!! This book has scenes and discussion of such themes as: racism, sexism, domestic violence.
Discussion:
Michaela: Hello friends and welcome to our last discussion about When You Ask Me Where I’m Going by Jasmin Kaur. This second half of the book was a little bit more difficult for me. I found that the first three chapters I felt I could really understand the meanings of the poems and even relate to some. But these last three chapters I struggled, I’m not sure if I just haven’t been in the right headspace to read it or what. We do get a section in this half of the book that is not poetry and we get more of a story which was really cool to switch between the two writing styles.
Jacilyn: I really liked switching between the poetry and the narrative story, that was something unique that I’ve never experienced before in a poetry book. I feel like all of the poems kind of fall under the umbrella of Kiran and Sahaara’s stories, and I think that, if I were to re-read the book with them in mind, it would feel different. Another part I liked about the structure of the book was the notes in the back that give some context into certain parts. I had been looking things up while reading, so it was good to read exactly how they fit into the poems in the author’s words.
I also struggled with this section, but really the book as a whole. There were still parts that I connected to, and I did enjoy it as a whole, but I also feel as though I’m not in the right headspace, and that’s impacting the way I’m absorbing the poems. I bought the kindle version, so perhaps I’ll revisit my notes and highlights later down the road and see if it goes differently at that point.
There were a lot of what I felt to be really beautifully worded passages in this section that I wanted to highlight here;
“this land will finally want my mother / this air will finally embrace my beloved / and home will finally pronounce my name”
“teach us to move as a river / that can weave life and feel / and softly let go”
“that i am not just mind encapsulated in motionless shell but rather an ever-moving world wandering another ever-moving world.”
“i am a continuation of every beautiful accident that cultivated this universe…..how can i not be overwhelmed by the way i am nothing more than a piece of everything”
There are certainly more I could highlight, but these are just a few of my favorites. They are words that, when I read them, kind of felt magical to me, that “weave life” like Jasmine wrote in the second passage above. The words felt like invoking a prayer or spell. That in itself is something I enjoy about poetry. Even if I can’t tell you exactly how a poem makes me feel or how I relate to the words on a deeper level, I can still appreciate the beauty of how words are used.
Michaela: I definitely felt like this book was a beautiful piece of art and poetry. I just was not always able to connect with it but it also wasn’t written for me so I wouldn’t expect to. However, it was written so well that I understand the history, the feelings, and the passion behind the words and behind the stories. Kaur is an amazing story teller through poetry and there are those lines, from the poems and even some from the story sections, that will forever stick with me because of how true they ring. I like how you explained it as saying a prayer or spell. I totally agree, many of these poems have felt like something I would come back to for some words of power or refuge or reassurance which is how I’ve always viewed prayers, spells, and mantras.
Something I’ve found really interesting is that we both have such different passages that speak to us. We’ve known each other for over a decade at this point, we have similar reading interests, and a lot of shared life experiences, but even poetry really allows you to pluck out those things that are different about yourself. Poetry can be interpreted by two relatively similar people and still come up with drastically different conclusions. Poetry is just really cool! A few of my favorite passages from this section were;
“I couldn’t recall having solicited the advice of a stranger”
“Of course they’re drawn to your magic / you soar far above their heads like peter pan / but that doesn’t mean you need to be refuge for all these lost boys”
“Sometimes it felt like she only saw me in the distance and never in the present.”
“of course the pain matters. but it’s not a weapon that should be pointed at anyone / least of all those who you call loved ones. / the pain explains but it doesn’t justify. / it never justifies”
There are so many passages and lines of this book that you can take out and while they show you what Kaur wanted you to see it can also show you sides of your own self or your own life that you haven’t thought about.
Jacilyn: I really loved that last passage you included. That one, like so many of these passages, reminded me of my mother, and how the way she treated us was due to her addiction, her mental illness, her trauma, her pain. It wasn’t necessarily who she was as a person deep down. If those other factors had been taken away, or eased, she wouldn’t have hurt the ones she called loved ones. “The pain explains, but it doesn’t justify / it never justifies.”
I actually think one of my favorite things to come out of reading this book was seeing which passages you would relate to compared to which ones I did. It kind of goes back to how poetry can be magical or spiritual almost, in how everyone is going to interact and connect to it differently, and every single experience is just as valid and meaningful as the next. It’s been fun and even though we have known each other so long, I feel like talking about this book has given me little further peeks into you.
Michaela: I feel the same. Poetry really gives you this meaningful way to open up. When I was young I used to write poetry to get out my feelings because I’m honestly just not good at sharing them and sometimes I’m really not good at understanding them. But writing them out meant I could see them. Kaur wrote about women in this book. She wrote about abuse against women, religious sexism, societal sexism, racism, what it feels like to give birth, what it feels like to love, what it feels like to not love. I think so much more can be said in three lines of a poem then an entire novel sometimes. Kaur’s poems have a way of digging down into you to show you your connection or showing you the subject’s connection to the words she wrote. Needless to say this book was beautiful, the writing was beautiful, and the women represented in the words are beautiful.
There’s one more poem I wanted to leave you with because it really stood out to me. I have always enjoyed poetry but especially poetry that has a real life sadness to it. Which I realize sounds quite depressing but as someone who experiences depression these poems give me a sense of understanding and comfort. What I read in this poem is something that I have always believed in; the power of art. Art does not last forever but what we learn from it can move with us through life and help us grow.
“the poem will not immortalize us.
it will not horcrux us into
something more
than blood
and marrow
and bone
eventually the poem will
disintegrate into the earth
and the earth will disintegrate
into the universe and the universe
will disintegrate into silence
and the poem
while it is here
will do what it is
meant to do –
teach us to move as a river
that can weave life and feel
and softly let go.”
- Jasmin Kaur, When You Ask Me Where I’m Going (pg 177)
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